MAD HATTER

"Mom".
"Mommy"
" Ma."
"Mum"
 "Ammmmmmmmmmmmmmmma."
"Why are you shouting away ? I am not hard of hearing."
"I want a hat." She said holding  a piece of toast slathered in  butter in one hand and a couple of crispy finger chips in the other.
"What on earth for?"
"Now , now ,  in this house, can not one ask even for a hat?"
"Do you want a hat for pulling out rabbits? Rabbits that will run errands for you while you lounge on your bed? "
"Stop cracking your poor jokes , sorry they don't even crack..ha ah.....they fall flat .By the way whoever heard of rabbits running errands for people?" 
"Well,  lazy people can employ anyone to run errands for them, even rabbits pulled from hats." 
"Now you are really talking through your hat, mom."
"Huh."I snorted trying to disentangle the mess on her table. 
"Don't touch the mess. It is MY mess. Let me deal with it my way."
"And pray, what is your way?"
"I have my own way of doing things. My unique way. Swag is my second name."She said, pulling up her collars, and smiling mischievously at me.
"Oh really?"
"If I am lazy, it's all your fault.You shouldn't have brought me up to be lazy." 
"Ah, I love that. I made you lazy?"
"Well. I couldn't have become  lazy without some guidance from you." She said with a wicked grin.
" WHAT!!!!!!!"
"Oh come on , mom , do not freak out. If you had not been wearing so many hats, I would not have been so lazy."
 "I do not wear hats , your dad does." 
"He owns them,  but you wear them , mom. The stetson, the sombrero, the Bush -hat , you wear them  all with elan,  and yes, the cook's hat,  the maid's hat, the judgmental hat, the so called writer's hat, the Screamer's hat,the dreamer's hat,  the indignant mom's hat, the..nagger's hat......". 
"Oh , stop it, I never was a nag.Why don't you wear the one you are talking through ?"
"Stop your wisecracks, mom. I want a hat."
 "You have still not told me why you want a hat."
" Our College fest starts tomorrow and the theme  is HAT."
"Oh! I will be back in a jiffy ."
I was back in two  jiffies- whatever they are- with all the hats and caps in the house.



"Yay," She thumped a fist in the air, settling on the hat of her choice and then  hurled herself at me while I slumped on the sofa, absolutely exhausted after a  successful  hunt.
She hugged me and   pecked me on both cheeks, but suddenly sprang up with mock horror.
"I will be booked for human rights violation."
 "What on earth for?" 
" For trying to crush such a petite little woman out of existence and that too-HAT LESS!"
Saying this,  she ran out of the room, the beautiful, blue   hat safely perched on her head.
"Mad Hatter", I dared to utter , but she was out of earshot, the JOYCE YARROW hat safely on her head.

Thanks Joyce, for coming to my rescue , yet again.